Sometimes we lose our way. Perhaps we become trapped in a vortex of that which we have become accustomed, striving for external answers and validation to the simple questions, “Who am I?” and “What do I want?”
We become attuned to the screaming volume of logic and mind; we worship them as gods. They feed our acquisitive nature. We leave little room for much else. It works. And then it doesn’t. Maybe a profound loss or series of traumatic catastrophic events causes us to recognize the emptiness we experience. Maybe we simply grow weary of deep alienation from ourselves. And we begin the process of seeking.
At some level I have always been seeking but the mistake I made was to treat it as an exercise of the mind. I find myself fortunate to have found a gifted teacher who has shown me the fallacy of this approach. Though it’s entirely possible he found me. He has given freely: a safe place, love, tenderness and patience, things I was unable to afford myself.
Yet the greatest gift he extended to me was an invitation to meet myself.
These pages aren’t about theft, nor are they about a journey to a promised land. For no thief can truly harbour authenticity and that which we call Israel has always existed. If not suited to us, new processes and exercises are simple mimicry. If they align with us, it can still feel like stealing until they are practised and authentic to us. It is also easy to lose sight and view these efforts as a journey to ‘get somewhere,’ to a promised destination. Yet. We are already here. These posts are a collection of reflections on my experience of life around me as I make my best efforts to meet myself, find community and put “thought” aside to answer the invitation to embrace, with my entire organism, that which is and has always been, that lifeforce which I am an undivided part of.